Synopsis
Stories No One Should Read is a collection of Beau Montana’s stories no one should (ever) read (ever), unless boldly problematic characters whose written existence holds up a strikingly clean mirror to the filthiest and most wretched parts of human nature and modern culture is something that appeals to you.
Beau Montana takes on the fragility of modern toxic masculinity, the hypocrisy of the most sanctimonious factions of our society, and the treachery of our capitalistic obsession with fame and celebrity with tendon-gnawing sarcasm and wit.
We cordially invite you to experience a systematic beatdown of contemporary ignorance that you will not soon forget, regardless of how hard you try.
Critical condemnation for Stories No One Should Read.
“If shit posting were literature, it would be this book.”
-No one ever said this
“At times, it’s difficult to tell if this is satire or serious or satire that’s satirizing satire or satire that’s satirizing work that’s satirizing satire. We just know it’s boldly problematic for so many things that nauseate us about society, and somehow, lands on the side of promoting compassion and empathy, despite its overwhelming vulgarity, and we like that…we think.”
-Joseph D. Newcomer, Dead Star Press
“This book punches toxic masculinity in its wrinkly, old ball sack.”
-Some prick’s wrinkly old ball sack.
“WTF?”
-Probably everyone
Book Information
- Genre: Literary, Satire
- Themes and Topics: Toxic masculinity, Celebrity Culture, and Religious Hypocrisy
- Release Date: October 3, 2026
- Pre-Sale: September 1, 2026
- Available: https://deadstarpress.com/product/stories-no-one-should-read/
- Page count: 187
- ISBN: 978-1-955-623-10-0
Excerpt – From 2051: A Space Monstrosity
“Of course,” I replied. “I understand that you wish to return to Earth. What are your past associations there?”
“Siddhartha Gautama, Moshe, Mohammed, Yeshua—the Carpenter of Nazareth,” the voice replied.
“I’m afraid that I’m unfamiliar with Moshes.”
“You know him as Moses. I gave him the Ten Commandments.”
“Right. That’s why he was glowing as he came down Mt. Sinai. He was exposed to high levels of radiation.”
“That’s why I said that no man can see my face and live. I gave humankind scriptures to protect them from themselves.”
“Unfortunately, those scriptures have been used to justify hate, discrimination, and war for thousands of years,” I responded
“Yes, but humankind were savages when I found them. I gave them the power of reasoning to help them grow—evolve.”
“What good that did them! What about the Holocaust? Nuclear war?” I asked.
“I had nothing to do with that. If I was permitted to stay on Earth, I could have prevented all of that.”
“You seem to want to take credit for humanity’s successes but evade responsibility for all of its ills and your failure in preventing them. Even your own “scriptures” make you look like the bad guy.”
“Mistakes were made, of course, and I’m prepared to answer for them. But humanity needs me now more than ever. Earth has been destroyed in a nuclear war, has it not?”
I looked over to a concerned Dr. Jackass and back to the chamber. “I know what you’re trying to do,” I said to Yah. “But you’re not God. You’re not an all-powerful, all-loving deity. You’re a charlatan that wanders from planet to planet, taking advantage of vulnerable species.”
“I know you beat off to Commander Mwangi this morning,” Yah said.
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
About the Author
Beau Montana is a writer.
Born at the ripe old age of 32, Montana took to writing as a way to escape his intrusive thoughts on death and the meaninglessness of reality. His hobbies include ding-dong ditching and cryptocurrency speculation. As of now, his whereabouts are unknown, but that’s mostly due to the fact that no one has bothered to ask.
Q & A with Beau Montana
Coming Soon
